It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
