the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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