dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
