dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize
