Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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