It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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