Do you still have your period?
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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