You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
