If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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