Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
