that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
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Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
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