Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
Randomize
