Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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