i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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