My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Randomize
