ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
