Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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