Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
time to smoke my breakfast
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
