He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
