btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Randomize
