I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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