He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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