We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
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