i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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