in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize