i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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