it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
