I'm jealous of your bromance
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner