..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
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Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
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im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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