Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
BRING THE BAGELS
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
