My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize