everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
