I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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