so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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