she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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