It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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