I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize