that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
