hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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