my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
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