Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Houston, we have a blender
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
