To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
