dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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