hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
