TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
