Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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