she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
