Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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