Buhtt sex?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Randomize
