do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
