remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize