and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
is wine microwaveable?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
