but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
