i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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