Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
