White coat. Heels.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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