As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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