thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
