if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
only you would photoshop your dick
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
