Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Randomize
