it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Randomize