you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Did we literally take a cab across the street
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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