have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
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